When I miscarried my first pregnancy, I was only 10 weeks along. I hadn't heard a heartbeat and wasn't too devistated. We got pregnant quickly and I was confident that we could get pregnant again right away. For the next 19 months, I lived in 2 week increments, calculating fertile days and being dissapointed with each passing month, failing to conceive. Finally, we decided to try artificial incemination. It took on the first attempt and Phoenix was born September, 2008. 1 year later, we decided to start trying again. After 6 months, we went for another AI, which failed to take. 2 more missed ovulations, then the night before my birthday, I got a possitive pregnancy test.
I was so discouraged and felt so sorry for myself, wondering if I would be able to have children. My trials were a cakewalk compared to those of so many others. I have recently read 2 blogs of families who lost their babies. Preslee, at 18 months
www.patrickandashley.blogspot.com. And Kaden, at 5 months
www.rustyandjacquiefife.blogspot.com. These families have endured every parents worst nightmare, yet, through their knowledge of, and faith in, The Lord's gospel, have been able to survive these tragedies and be an inspiration to everyone who comes across their stories.
I know of mothers who only got to hold their babies for months, days, hours, or only after they had returned to live with their Father in Heaven. I am so grateful for my 4 month old, wo wiggles so much I can barely hold him, and who had turnned me into the walking dead most nights. I am grateful for my 2-yr old, who gives me so much attitude that I worry about her tweenage years. My kids drive my nuts sometimes, but I think of the mothers who do not get to be embarrased by their children in public or who do not get to rock their impossible infants to sleep and long for it. I have been blessed beyond measure and I refuse to take it for granted. My children are on loan to me from my father in Heaven and I am at his mercy to let me keep them for the rest of my mortal life.
Your children need your discipline, of course. But be sure to hug them and make sure they know that you love them, even when you are mad at them.
Kellie, Thank you for sharing Preslee's blog with me. I love sharing my birthday with your sweet little neice.